Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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