His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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