would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You ruined the universe
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
