I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
