I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
