Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize