can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
