If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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