I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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