Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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