You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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