Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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