Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
