I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
we're so committed to being not committed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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