i can't believe i had my finger in that
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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