Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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