Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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