NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
