I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
