I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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