you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
