Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
