Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
