I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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