i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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