gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
