At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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