he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
