Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
