Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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