Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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