My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize