I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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