I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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