When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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