direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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