drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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