hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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