they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
