Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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