the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
