This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
