I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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