Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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