You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
