My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
