So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
