You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
