hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
