i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
