I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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