She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
