Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
