I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
