gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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