i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
