Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
