I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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