I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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